Hurt People Hurt People!   #1

Sermon Outline

Prepared by

Dr. Joseph P. Metoyer, Jr., Pastor/Teacher

April 27, 2003

Text: 1 Samuel 16:7

Subject: Hurt People Hurt People!   #1

Introduction: By "hurts" I mean actions, words, and attitudes that are intentional or unintentional, visible or invisible, hands-on or hands-off, other perpetrated or self inflicted, and barely survivable to hardly noticeable.

I. Our Unseen Wounds

Have you ever been hurt by someone who was hurt? We all have played a role in this phenomenon, Hurt people hurt people. I am one of those hurt people who have hurt someone. I have also been a victim of being hurt by a person who was hurt. However, even when we see the results of this hurting and hurtful pattern in others, and ourselves we resist the idea that unseen injuries are real.

A. Binding shame is when we beat up on ourselves because we feel that we have to do twice as much to be half as good as others. 1 Samuel 16:7a But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature." Ever been around people you have not seen in a long time, they want to look you over, turn you around and inspect your weight. They are hurting because they have gained weight and they want you to hurt also therefore they look at your weight to compare negatively. Hurting people hurt people! God said, "don’t look at his appearance". People want to bind us in shame and we allow them to.

1. Shame is the soul-deep belief that something is horribly wrong with me that is not wrong with anyone else in the entire world. If I am bound in shame, I feel hopelessly, disgustingly different and worthless. I mean literally worth less than other people.

2. Many of our struggles spring from a belief that adults-especially Christian adults-should be "beyond" or "above" being hurt. Listen to what we say: If I were really a strong Christian, this wouldn’t hurt so much. I just wish I could trust God more.

B. Binding shame leads to Blinding shame. God said 1 Samuel 16:7b " For the Lord does not see as man sees;" God does not see human beings as perfect, therefore we should never see ourselves as perfect. But we do and we say things like: I can’t seem to do that, as well as you, so I am imperfect and because I am imperfect I view myself as hideously flawed. People that is blinding shame. You cannot see whom you really are when you look at the outer appearance only. Ever attended a family reunion and you were told "Don’t pay any attention to Uncle Jeff’s dirty jokes; that’s jus part of his personality." Shame is rooted in the lie that human beings can and should be perfect. Substance abuse families, families where anger is out of control, are fertile seedbeds for shame. So many people have become blind with shame. We don’t really tell people how we feel on the inside because they cannot see our insides.

II. Our Unseen Inner Lives; God says: 1 Samuel 16:7c "… to Samuel… man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Many Christians have forgotten that our God is a God that does not look at the outer appearance.

A. God focuses primarily on our unseen, inner lives, or as Scripture call is, our "Hearts". Samuel was about to make the mistake of evaluating the men by their gifts when God reminded him that the heart was the important thing. Proverbs 4:23 "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life."

B. Jesus echoed this concept: He declared that all our visible behaviors spill out of our unseen inner lives-again, our hearts. Mark 7:21 "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders".

It’s no wonder that the God who calls Himself "The God of Truth" who looks primarily on the heart of man calls for us to live in total truth as He is. Truth on the inside for Him to see and truth on the outside for others to see. If we look as God does on the inside what will we see? "Prolonged unforgiveness, murderous rage, and adulterous thoughts, these are sins we might find during an inner examination.

II. Our Unseen Wounds Present a Problem

A "Broken bones mend. Black eyes fade. But the unseen wounds and invisible scars of emotional battering remain. And they create emergencies as serious as broken arms and fractured skulls." Just because we do not see the wounds does not mean they are not real. Un-confessed sin can affect us mentally as well as physically.

B. But I thank God 1 Samuel 16:7d "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (A parent sees a troubled teenager, but God sees a precious soul; Man sees an addict, but God sees a forgiven soul)…

Application: When God anoints a person God knows what is in that person’s heart. David declares, Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Remember God told Samuel 1 Samuel 16:12… "Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!"

1 Samuel 16:13 "Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward." To "Anoint" implies a penetrating power, an authority that comes from someone else and flows to the anointed one.

Christians cannot allow shame to bind us and blind us. We have to be like John, look up and see that Jesus is in the midst of your circumstances: John 1:29 "The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" John 8:36 "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." Hebrews 12:2 "Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

2 Cor. 1:20-22 "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. 21Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, 22who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."

Isaiah 53:5 "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed."